Principle Meeting

I met with Hannah's principle, Mr. Stevenson, and he informed me that Hannah is basically failing all of her classes. She has N's in all of them. After the meeting I emailed her teacher who was very helpful and let me know what Hannah needs help with. She is a bright, smart girl but she isn't organized or always motivated. Her teacher even gave me the login information so that I'd be able to keep track of her grades. I've decided that I will try to help Hannah get back on track and bring her grades up. My visits with her will focus on school. I will make sure she is doing her work and stay on her case. If she does what she is supposed to do and if we have time I will take her out as an award. I'm already getting more involved than I thought I would. I like it. I like working with a child to help them reach their goals and potential. I have to do what I have to do to make sure Hannah gets to go back home with her Grandma and younger brother.

First Home Visit

I had my first home visit with Hannah today. I met her at her foster home and we talked. It was a little awkward for me because it takes me time to warm up to people and I didn't know what to talk about. I didn't know what was going on with her school and new developments on her case because this was my first visit. I have an appointment with her principle next week and her next court visit isn't until February. She seemed okay and I'm anxious to really start working with her and getting to know her. Maybe on my next visit we could go somewhere instead of staying at her foster home.

LSAT

I took the LAST this morning at UVU and I am not sure how I did. I hope I did well so I can start applying to law schools and get on to the next chapter of my life. I was nervous all night so I barely slept. I didn't do so well on my first test and my year is almost up. I want to be going to law school by Fall. We'll see how it goes once I get the results.

Met Hannah Taylor for First Time

Today I was finally able to meet Hannah and her grandmother. Her little brother, Adrian, was there too. We met at the CASA office around 4:30pm after I got off work. My first impression was that she was nice. She was being nice to her brother because they were in the conference room with me. She's a pretty girl with blond hair and blue eyes. She's kind of skinny and was quiet; she seemed nervous and weary (her file had mentioned she'd already had a few CASAs before me). Her brother is mixed half Caucasian and half Native American with light eyes, dark hair, and dark skin. Hannah's grandmother was elderly and in a wheelchair. We talked about the fact that they were from Mississippi and how they'd come here because of Hurricane Katrina. I told them that I was from the South too and that sparked a long conversation between me and her grandmother about what we missed and all that stuff. We ended the meeting with me promising to visit Hannah at her foster home the following week.

Bids

I had to get three bids from three different hearing places. The bids would show what each of these places would offer. I got my bids from Provo Hospital, Wasatch Hearing, and Edison Stanford Hearing Center. Out of the three Edison Stanford Hearing Center was the best. They offered me some top notch hearing aids, three year supply of batteries, three year warranty, and a Bluetooth and remote control that would go with the hearing aids. I liked the doctor; he was nice and I liked the office and where it was located so when I sent the bids back to Heidi I specified that I'd like to work with Edison Stanford. She hasn't gotten back with me yet so I will give it another week or two before I email her again.

In other news, I didn't get to meet Hannah yesterday. Her grandmother's car broke down but no one told me so I ended up going to the CASA office downtown (in Provo) anyway. Since I was there they let me read Hannah's file. As I read it I was tempted to tell them I didn't want to work on the case. Hannah had been put into foster care by her grandmother because she was unruly. Before she went to foster care she would throw fits and scream and hit her brother or run away. Her grandmother couldn't handle it. She feared for Hannah's safety and the safety of herself and Hannah's brother. The file talked about how Hannah was manipulative and other things that were not flattering. Basically she was a handful.

When I'd been going through my training I imagined what kind of case I'd be put on. I always imagined a case of the child had been neglected or abused and was working toward reconciliation. The child would be sweet and nice and she (I knew it would be a girl, I'd requested to work with a girl) hadn't been put into foster care by her family. I actually never even thought of that possibility. The first case they were assigning me to was one with a difficult child who liked to manipulate grown folks and pit them against one another. I sat back after reading that and contemplated if I should take the case. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to handle her. I'm not one to back down from a challenge and I had to believe that Dee, McKay, and Leah wouldn't put me on a case they didn't think I could handle. Just because Hannah wasn't what I thought she'd be didn't mean I shouldn't work her case. Maybe I'd be the adult she took to, who know but she needed someone in her corner after the life she'd had. She wasn't acting out for no reason. I gave the file back to Dee and she told me she'd email me to let me know when we could set up another meeting.

Finally... A Case

Dee emailed me today to let me know that she had a case for me. I would be working with a 11 year old girl named Hannah Taylor and I was to meet her on the 22nd. I would meet her and her grandmother at the CASA office then. I was nervous about getting on this case but I was always nervous when it came to new things. I just hoped the child liked me.

First Appointment with Voc Rehab Counselor

I had my first meeting with Heidi Immell today. I learned that she is deaf. That was surprising but it was good. She hadn't been born deaf so she knew what it was like to slowly lose your hearing and how difficult it can be to try to communicate. During the meeting she asked me what I did for work and to explain my situation. I did and by the end she felt she could help me given that I did another hearing test at Intermountain Healthcare Hearing and Balance Center in Provo. She told me to schedule another appointment which I did for December 7.

Sworn In...I'm Officially a CASA Worker!!!

I've finished my training and I've done court observation. The only thing that was left to do was to be sworn in by a judge in court. Today that happened! So that officially makes me a CASA. I had to go to a court in Spanish Fork to be sworn in. I am terrible with directions and finding places so I was nervous about getting loss. I made sure to give myself plenty of time to get there and factor in the possibility of getting loss. I had to be there at 4:30pm so I got off work around 2pm. I ended up getting there early, before Leah or Dee arrived. I stood around waiting with the other people who were going to be sworn in also. When Dee arrived we went into the courtroom and it was a quick ceremony of us standing up and raising our right hand and you know the rest. We took a picture with the judge and that was that. I was happy because I could finally start working on case with a child. I could start helping someone. Now all I need is a case. I hope Dee emails with something sooner rather than later.

Insight

I was complaining to my coworker about the cost of hearing aids today when she recommended that I look into Vocational Rehabilitation. I went to to the website and got their number. I called and was told I'd have to go to an initial meeting before getting a counselor. The receptionist told me the times and that no appointment was needed. My initial meeting with Voc Rehab was on October 5th. That was my day off so I was able to go, there were a lot of other people there, all ages so I didn't feel so self-conscious. I had to watch a video about what Vocational Rehabilitation is and other stuff. After I asked the guy who'd been in charge if he thought Voc Rehab would be able to help me. I explained my situation and he thought they would be able to help so I made an appointment with Heidi Immell who would be my counselor. I'm still going forward with Audient in case the Voc Rehab doesn't work out. I have an appointment with another audiologist at Hearing and Balance Center for the Audient program at 1pm. They want to see exactly how bad my hearing is before they can offer any assistance.

Today's My Birthday!!! But...

Today is my 23rd birthday. It was fine. I got cookie cake at work and my coworker made me a homemade cheesecake which is my favorite. But being a year older got me to thinking about where I'll be in another 20 years. I'm twenty-three and my hearing has declined so much, does that mean I'll be deaf by the time I'm in my forties? If that happens how will I communicate with my family and friends? How will I deal with being deaf? It's my birthday I shouldn't be thing such morbid thoughts. If it happens I'm sure I'll deal with like I deal with everything, fret over for a little while and eventually find a suitable solution. I'm going to enjoy the rest of my day. I do love birthdays!

Happy birthday to me!

Options, Options

So after three audiograms came back with the same results I am sure I have a hearing problem. After doing more research on hearing aids I know I can't afford to pay for them without some assistance. I've started researching options for paying for them. I needed to find a place that would do financing or help me get them at a reduce cost. I found some options that would help me. Only two seemed relevant to me, Audient Program and Lions Clubs International. I put in an application for Audient Program. I'm just hoping to reduce the cost enough so I can use my moms's medical card to purchase them.

Reflections...

Now I'm convinced I have hearing loss and will have to get hearing aids if I want to hear properly. I've been thinking back and trying to remember exactly when did I start having hearing problems. I remember when my brother and I first moved to Georgia to live with our dad. My dad's girlfriend and my dad took us to this clinic to get our eyes and ears checked before we could start school. I cheated on the hearing test. I raised my hand saying I'd heard the beep when I wasn't sure if I had and I kept at it. Now my dad tells me of stories where he and his girlfriend would stand behind me and call my name but I wouldn't respond. Now that I think about it I've always had a hard time hearing. When I was younger I just learned ways to cope and deal with it. I don't think blaring headphones in my ears helped much.

I dealt with it and it wasn't too bad as long as people spoke up. But I think it was getting worst when I was in high school because I could never hear what my friends were saying especially if they whispered (I couldn't do the whispering thing. I always missed what was said) or were talking while we were in the hallway during class. One day I was walking with one of my friends, we were headed to Spanish and she was talking about something. I couldn't hear or understand a word she said so I just smiled and nodded my head pretending like I could hear her. This usually worked but that day it didn't. At one point when I nodded and smiled she just looked at me. I realized that she had asked me a question and I hadn't heard it. I had her repeat it and still couldn't understand and just said 'yeah.' After that, 'huh' and 'what' became my most used words. I didn't want to be caught like that again so I try to make people repeat themselves. I also started avoiding my friends in the halls so I wouldn't have to struggle to hear them.

As I got older my hearing definitely got worse. But I never really paid attention to it. I am realizing now that a lot of my problems were because of hearing loss. When I started college I think my hearing was deteriorating and I was having a hard time compensating. I always had to sit in front of the class and even then I only caught half of what the professor said. I loved it when a professor had a powerpoint because it meant I could follow along better. I started withdrawing more and begging off going to restaurants and the movies. I'd rather stay at home and watch TV with the captions than deal with having to ask people to repeat themselves constantly or just not getting what they said. After awhile I always decide it's not that important and stop having people repeat themselves. I pretend I can hear by saying 'yeah' or whatever else. 

I guess I should have figured it out but I never did until last month. I didn't even put it together until then. Now I know and I am doing something about it. I may have lost half of my hearing already but I will do what I can to maintain the rest of it. 

Another Free Hearing with a Different Doctor

I had my second hearing test yesterday and the results were more or less the same. This audiologist didn't try to push her hearing aids off on me. She seemed to realize that this was big news. Finding out that I've already lost almost half of my hearing was something that I had to adjust to. I asked her how this could happen. She explained that exposure to loud noise constantly like headphones or it could be hereditary. She let me know that I could come back when I was ready to purchase hearing aids. I thanked her and left. When I got home I called my mom to give her the news. She let me talk but we mostly talked about solutions. I told my dad when he got home and he was in solution mode instantly. I spent the rest of the night searching for cheaper options for hearing aids. I knew there had to be some cheaper than Miracle Ear and I was right. Miracle Ear was among some of the most expensive I came across.

As I did my research I couldn't help but notice that all the brochures and pictures on the websites featured older people. There were no hearing aid websites that I went to that showed young people enjoying life with their new hearing aids. That made me feel somewhat like a freak and old even though I wasn't. I wondered what this meant; I need hearing aids. But I didn't let myself dwell too long because I needed them and needed to find a way to get them. Medical insurance doesn't cover hearing aids and while the ones I found were cheaper than Miracle Ear they were still above my price range. The cheapest were around $900+. I didn't have that kind of money. I also set up appointments with a couple of other audiologist that offered free hearing tests. It didn't hurt to get third and fourth opinions.

Free Hearing Test Appointment

So I finally decided to go to the ear doctor and get my hearing checked today. It's been a few weeks since I went to the movies and discovered that something may be wrong with my hearing. I don't like doctors or anything so I didn't schedule an appointment right away. What made me schedule is all of the frustration I have at work. I cannot understand what my co-worker, Georgia, is saying half the time and I usually try to avoid talking to her face to face. I work in customer service, I'm on the phone all day long and I am constantly having to have customer's repeat themselves. They get frustrated and irritated when you ask them to repeat themselves especially if they are already a little ticked off.

Anyway after a particularly difficult call yesterday I did a search for hearing doctors and found a few. I went with Miracle Ear because they offered a free test. I had my appointment today at 4:30pm. The doctor did his test and told me I had what was called Sensorineural Hearing Loss. It’s not curable with surgery or anything. I would need hearing aids. He started pushing his company’s hearing aids which were like $5000 to $7000. At that moment I didn’t know if I could trust his diagnosis. It was a free test and it seemed like a scam to get me to shell out thousands of dollars. I told him thank you and left. I called my mom and told her about it and she advised me to get a second opinion. My dad told me the same thing. So I guess I need to do some more research and find another doctor and go for another test.

Disappointed

I registered for classes and was ready to start school on Aug. 29. I am going to finish my English degree.  But going to school would require me to work part-time and with a teenage boy in the house we really couldn't afford that. So I had to withdraw from classes and it hurt. I hated that I had to put what I wanted on the back burner but I'll deal. And when the time is right I'll try again.

New House Guest

My cousin came to live with us. He got here on Sunday. I haven't seen him since he was a kid and didn't even recognize him when he walked by us. Luckily my dad recognized him and called out his name. The first couple of days with him here hasn't been too bad. He had a bad trip coming here with so many delays and running out of money and couldn't eat so I spent all of Monday trying to get in contact with Greyhound. We'll see how it goes. I'm nervous about having a teenage boy here. They eat so much and can be kind of messy but we'll see.

I Can't Hear...

I went to see The Help yesterday with my friend. I loved the movie, I read the book two times and I was happy Heather went with me but something wasn't quite right. As I sat in the theater trying to watch the movie I realized that I couldn't really  hear what was being said on the screen. I only caught half of what was said and was only able to follow along because I'd already read the book so many times.  It was weird because I knew I should be able to hear the movie. No I'm not saying that right I could "hear" the sounds and voices I couldn't understand what they were saying. I thought about the fact that everytime I see a movie in theater I have to rent the DVD when it comes out so that I can put on the Closed Captions and really follow the movie. I always miss something when I go to the theaters but it's still not as bad as it as this past weekend. I don't know what was happening but what happened at the movies made me realize something might not be right with my ears. I guess I'd have to try to figure out what to do.